Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hand Solo and Princess Leia’s Boobs

Recently, Carrie Fisher revealed that she and Harrison Ford got busy on the Star Wars set:

“I went on the film saying, ‘I’m going to have an affair,’ like it was a kiwi, an exotic fruit — because I’d never had one”

Well that’s a good reason to have an affair, if there’s ever been one.

“I had a crush on Harrison for sure. Harrison is great fun when he’s had a few drinks.”

Yeah, I’d be trying to get a piece of princess too after seeing that enslaved-by-Jabba fashion.

princess leia bikini fashion

Well, I always found the Return of the Jedi boob fondling scene to be a bit telling. Here’s a quick clip I whipped up to show that I was on to something with my hunch.

So Hand Solo likes to feel up Princess Get Leiad’s boobs, to try to Jabba her Hutt and maybe Chew her Bacca before Luke reaches her core with his light saber.

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Review: 13 Rule-Breaking Films

For all the creativity and innovation that goes into making (some) Hollywood films, there are also a lot of ideas that get recycled time and time again. I’m not referring to stock characters or the sequalitis that hits multiplexes every summer. I’m talking about the basic building blocks of storytelling that are ingrained in the movie-going experience.

Every once in a while, though, a film comes along that takes an assumption about how American movies are supposed to be made and changes it, sometimes resulting in something truly memorable. Producers who want to make a film that breaks one of the unwritten rules of motion pictures risk a lot – studios might not want to fund the film, theaters might not show it, audiences might not respond to it. The reward for taking the chance, though, is recognition for being a really interesting experiment, or, in some cases, taking your place among the greatest films ever made.

(NOTE: I've been getting a tremendous response to this article, and based on a number of comments I feel I should clarify something: In no way do I think the following list is THE DEFINITIVE list of rule-breaking films. I did want to include movies that most people have heard of or would be reasonably available for those would want to seek them out. Nevertheless, I'm sure every film lover could add something to this list - the fact that this or that film is not on it should not be taken as an intentional slight on my part.

Some commentors have pointed out that my list is made up almost entirely of American films released in the last half of the 20th century. This was also not intentional, but mainly the result of my having been born and become a movie fan in America in the last half if the 20th century. --CE 5/13/08)


Time Code (2000)
Rule Breaking Idea: Show four frames simultaneously on the screen

When I go to a movie theater, I assume I will sit in a chair. I assume everyone will face the same direction, the lights will be turned off (or at least down), and I will look at a large rectangular screen onto which I will see one series of moving photographs at a time. Mike Figgis’ work, in which he shows the audience four scenes running at the same time, changes one of the basic expectations of watching a movie. Keeping track of different lines of action is an interesting experience, like being a building security guard who must keep tabs on a group of cameras, mentally sorting out the important bits from the mundane. I finished my viewing wondering how much I missed, or if maybe my brain could eventually get used to this kind of viewing, the same way all film viewers use persistence of motion to watch any film.

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Rule Breaking Idea: The good guys lose

In mass-marketed science fiction and fantasy films, from Flash Gordon to Superman to The Lord of the Rings, it’s an assumption that before the end credits roll the heroes will pull out some kind of victory by vanquishing the evil-doers, even if only temporarily. Perhaps that is a necessary assumption in a universe where a few deranged people can do a lot of damage with the firepower science and magic provides. The idea of the hero has been around since humans could tell stories, and in most of them, even if the hero falls, it’s not without accomplishing something worthwhile or going out with a noble flourish.

There would be no such victory for the heroes in George Lucas’ second installment of the Star Wars saga. In the previous episode, the scrappy Rebels scored a major victory against Darth Vader and his minions. In the sequel, the Rebels get their collective backsides handed to them by the Empire, militarily (the “battle” on Hoth wasn’t so much a fight as a delay action to allow the Rebels to run away), personally (Han Solo is betrayed by his friend and becomes a frozen dinner right after acknowledging his love for Leia) and emotionally (Luke Skywalker learns the biggest mass-murderer in the galaxy is his dad). At the end of the film, there’s nothing left to do but pick up the pieces, get a new hand attached, and move on.

By striking this cinematic minor chord, the franchise achieved a degree of resonance and depth it would not have had if it just presented a new way for the Rebels to stick it to the Empire. This kind of pathos was not achieved again until Episode III (Revenge of the Sith) when Anakin crosses over to the Dark Side.

Russian Ark (2002)
Rule Breaking Idea: Instead of making a film with 20-30 scenes, make a film with one 90-minute scene, shot in a continuous take.

Like Time Code, this film changes a fundamental part of movie-watching. Shot at the Russian State Hermitage Museum, the film is a triumph if only because it managed to pull off a logistical nightmare. Hundreds of cast and crew have to get everything right at one time, or it’s back to square one. As a viewing experience, I found the film a bit exhausting. I guess I’m just used to breaks in the narrative that cutting from scene to scene provides. Since it’s not possible to jump from one place or time period to another using this technique, the storytelling range is automatically restricted as well. It’s a beautiful film and well worth the time to see, but I’m not sure this technique would work on a regular basis.

Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Rule Breaking Idea: Make a heist film that shows everything except the heist

There’s nothing quite like watching a detailed, well-planned heist unfold on film. Criminal acts form the centerpiece of a lot of entertaining movies. (see: Heist, The Killing, Ocean’s Eleven, Rififi, Sexy Beast, The Score, The Sting)

In Reservoir Dogs, Quentin Tarantino’s adapted story of a bank robbery gone very wrong, things proceed from a different angle. The audience gets to see the planning, the botched getaway, and the brutal, bloody aftermath as the crooks try to figure out what to do next. The one thing that’s missing is a depiction of the actual heist. And that’s okay. A well-written film can go anywhere, and Tarantino’s writing talent, combined with a top-notch cast, is such that two people talking to each other can be an entertaining as an action sequence.

Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Rule Breaking Idea: Make a truly anti-drug film

Drug and alcohol abuse have been subjects for films for years. Movies like The Days of Wine and Roses, Leaving Las Vegas, The Lost Weekend, The Man with the Golden Arm, and Trainspotting provide ample opportunities for actors to exercise their dramatic chops with scenes of decadence and ecstasy followed by anguish and regret. Drinking and drugging, while destructive, are also presented as poignant, dramatic, and even humorous and cool in certain aspects.

Much more than these films, Darren Aronofsky’s movie presents drug use as first and foremost scary, depressing, and gross. The main characters are young and pretty the way most young people are pretty. What they are not, though, is smart, interesting, glamorous, lucky, or headed anywhere. Their experiences with drug use are sad, brutal, and not fun in any reasonable way. The only joy they seem to get from the drugs they use comes from temporarily not having to look at their crappy lives, which also holds for one character’s mother, who is falling apart from abusing diet pills. In this film, the audience gets to watch four people destroy their lives without a hip soundtrack, snappy one-liners, or a happy ending to cushion the blow. I still have a hard time watching this harrowing film, but it’s worth the effort.

Psycho (1960)
Rule Breaking Idea: Kill off the main character halfway through the film

This is a film that probably would not have gotten made if not for the fact that it’s Hitchcock. I heard on Turner Movie Classics that when the movie first premiered the director encouraged exhibitors to not let late-coming moviegoers in to see the film after a certain point. He wanted the audience to develop an attachment to the ostensible heroine before removing her from the narrative via the most famous murder ever put on film.

If this film were made today, Norman Bates would have gotten to kill off a few minor characters to show how evil he is, but Marion Crane would have found a way to survive, probably after a few close calls and some kind of one-on-one struggle with Bates before he’s dispatched at the last second. To try to do anything different shows just how radical Hitchcock’s idea was, and still is.

Memento (2000)
Rule Breaking Idea: Show the entire film in reverse scene order

This is a very effective film noir with a great cast. The premise, centered on a man who has lost his ability to remember what just happened to him, lends itself to the technique Christopher Nolan used. Unlike a lot of films, the audience has to concentrate to understand what’s going on and keep track of how the last scene, which they saw first, fits into the first scene, shown last. Other than a lesser episode of Seinfeld, I’m not aware of any other films or TV shows that have tried the same thing, which is probably for the best.

High Noon (1952), The Ox-Bow Incident (1943), and Bad Day at Black Rock (1955)
Rule Breaking Idea: Take one of America’s most sacred myths, the Western, and turn it on its head

Every country has its national myths. In America, the West represents freedom, adventure, and progress. The bad guys are swarthy, desperate, easy to spot, and more or less easy to defeat. The good guy rides in on a white horse and, with the help of, the decent local folks, cleans up the town from violent desperados or greedy corporate land barons, to the gratitude of the town folk. The landscapes are boundless and beautiful, the horses fast, and there’s plenty of room for anyone with courage and gumption.

Some films, though, cast a different light on the Old West. In High Noon, a movie that was made partly in response to McCarthyism, everyone in the western town where the movie takes place is basically a coward, wholly dependent on the sheriff (played by Gary Cooper) to save them. When it’s the sheriff who needs help defending the town from a group of bad guys, the townspeople present any excuse not to put themselves in harm’s way, much to the chagrin and ultimate disgust of the main character.

In the Ox-Bow Incident, the mob is not just passively hiding from danger, but actively seeking out ways to punish people who are innocent of a murder. “Frontier justice” is portrayed as antithetical to the American ideal. In Bad Day at Black Rock, the frontiersmen are violent, ignorant, racist thugs. The film’s hero (played by Spencer Tracy) doesn’t come in on a horse form the dusty plain, but on a train from the city. The urban places that are often portrayed as something to escape from now become the source of justice for the innocent who live in the Wild West.

Goodfellas (1990)
Rule Breaking Idea: Look at organized crime from the bottom up

Another of America’s myths is the gangster picture. Ever since films were invented Hollywood has cranked out stories of criminal syndicates and the people who run them. (see Little Ceasar, The Public Enemy, Scarface: The Shame of a Nation, White Heat). In these movies, gangsters are high-livin’, charismatic, and exciting. Francis Ford Coppola’s epic The Godfather trilogy is perhaps the ultimate portrayal of the Mafia in all its operatic glory.

With Scorsese’s masterpiece, he focuses on organized crime’s middle-management, the guys who aren’t the kingpins, but have to get up in the morning and hustle just like everybody else. Other than the obvious difference of getting killed if you get out of line, there are parallels between their life and that of any other corporate citizen – how to keep the boss happy, how to move up the org chart, how to keep it all going day in and day out. David Chase would extend this theme with his portrayal of Tony Soprano and his business operations. It’s not the larger- than-life figures that make these films interesting, but the details and dynamics of living in a wholly unique society and economic system.

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930) and Paths of Glory (1957)
Rule Breaking Idea: Make a truly anti-war film

Motion pictures use the theme of war in a lot of ways: War is an outward expression of inner struggle between our good and evil natures (Platoon). It’s a surreal journey that transforms mens’ psyches (Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, The Deer Hunter). It’s a sick joke (Dr. Strangelove, The Great Dictator). It’s a thrill ride/videogame (Pearl Harbor). It’s a testament to the bravery and sacrifice of soldiers everywhere (The Big Red One, The Longest Day, Saving Private Ryan, Das Boot, Letters from Iwo Jima, and hundreds of other war films over the years).

These films do not glamorize or celebrate war, but there are only a few films that leave out the metaphors and symbolism and take the position that, in the end, war is nothing but people killing each other and destroying civilizations. There is nothing to be learned from it or gained by it. And there are no heroes, only survivors.

Ever since All Quiet on the Western Front was released it has been censored by countries going to war. At some point in history the film has been banned in Germany, Poland, Italy, Austria, Hungary, Bulgaria, Yugoslavia, New Zealand, and Australia, and has been re-cut in the U.S. to give it a happier ending. The movie is a straightforward story of young men who go off to war with their hearts full of bravado and theory (provided by a rhetoric-spouting school professor) until they experience the horror and misery of combat.

Stanley Kubrick’s Paths of Glory shows what happens when soldiers are caught up in a bureaucracy that maintaining order even if it means killing its own innocent soldiers. The film’s main character, Colonel Dax, is a front-line infantry officer who sees the process of death both from his enemy’s guns and from his own outfit’s brutal code of discipline. Kubrick was not only critiquing war itself, but also the way higher ranking officers, represented by General Broulard, treat their own soldiers like chess pieces, throwing them into the meat grinder while those with power remain comfortably behind the lines.

These two films are based in World War I, one the least popular wars from an American movie-making perspective. The most well-received films concerning America’s current military conflict, the war in Iraq, tend to be documentaries. For reasons that have yet to be definitively determined, fictional portrayals of the Iraq war have not done well in theaters.
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The Rise and Fall of a Porn King

The Rise and Fall of a Porn King

Source: The Sun-Herald

Five years ago Greg Lasrado drove a $500,000 black Lamborghini Diablo, rubbed shoulders with high-powered people such as US president Bill Clinton, lived between multimillion-dollar penthouses and bought racehorses for fun. Today his sole asset is a rusty ute, he lives in his parents' spare bedroom and spends most weekends helping his mum with the housework.

During the 1990s, Lasrado went from being a university student drop-out to Australia's No.1 internet porn tycoon, accumulating a $60million fortune along the way. But an extravagant lifestyle and poor business management sent him on a downward spiral to a broken marriage, heroin addiction and, finally, bankruptcy.

Today Lasrado, 38, reveals for the first time his dramatic rise and fall as an international porn baron.

"Up until five years ago, I was living every man's dream," he told The Sun-Herald in a Brisbane restaurant last week. "I'd wake up on a day like today, have lunch, buy a car, then head to the airport and be in another country by the close of play.

"I was convinced it would last forever. Now, I've lost the lot. If you were to turn me upside down, 10 cents would not fall out of my pocket."

The Australian Tax Office is hot on his tail, chasing $5million, but Lasrado says that is "the least of my worries". If found guilty of dangerous driving charges in September he could find himself in jail, with even more time on his hands to reflect on how it all went wrong.

Lasrado was born in Horsham, Victoria, in 1970 - a year after his parents migrated from India in search of a better life. He grew up in Moree, in country NSW, and has fond memories of his school holidays "driving tractors and working on the local farms".

In 1988, he moved to Brisbane and, wanting to make his "parents proud", enrolled at university, working in ice-cream parlours and pubs to make ends meet. After dropping out of university, he then started a business buying and selling computers from a basement beneath his house. Through "computer contacts" and "a random sequence of events", he suddenly found himself becoming a major player in the rapidly emerging world of online pornography.

The self-described "naive youngster" launched more than 200 individual adult websites, one by one. "It was a crazy time," he says. "I was still this country boy at heart, finding my feet in the world. I remember saying to my business partner at the time, if this makes us $100,000 for the year, we'll be laughing. We ended up making that in our first month."

Lasrado acknowledges there was "no secret" behind his success: "There were people worldwide who had never felt comfortable entering a newsagent's and buying an adult magazine. Then along came the internet and all of a sudden, in the privacy of their own home, they could access it all, including specific fetishes like bondage, big boobs or whatever."

By the mid-1990s, the online porn phenomenon was in full swing and more than 100,000 adults worldwide had subscribed to Lasrado's many sites. With the same number of monthly cash-debits pouring in off customer credit cards, he was suddenly a multimillionaire.

"It was a unique time," he says. "You have to remember, the internet was still in its infancy back then. While there was this huge growing demand for online porn, only a very small number of people were supplying it. We were all young, free and single. We socialised together and of course, we had pocketfuls of cash.

"We didn't give it a second thought at the time but we had just revolutionised the porn industry in a way nobody had ever done before."

With the world at his feet, Lasrado started to live the life of an international playboy. He hosted several weekend-long parties in Las Vegas for friends and web masters who had developed his many porn sites. "The bills for those parties often exceeded $100,000 which, at the time, seemed like nothing," he says.

In 1999 he fell in love - aged 29 - flying his girlfriend, Melissa Croskery, then 21, from Brisbane to Paris so he could propose to her over dinner. On their return he paid $2.88million for a riverfront block of land at Kangaroo Point, Brisbane, as an "engagement present". The engagement did not last.

Over the next few years, Lasrado ploughed his cash into stocks and property. His homes included a $7million Palazzo Versace penthouse on the Gold Coast and a landmark $6million pink house at St Lucia, Brisbane.

At its peak his property portfolio was worth $30million. While he also bought race horses "for the fun of it", his real passion was fast cars. "At various stages along the way, I owned four Lamborghinis and seven BMWs," he says. "Looking back now that was was a bit over the top, by anyone's standards."

If Lasrado was anything, he was generous. He donated thousands of dollars to charity. A Brisbane waiter told media that Lasrado not only tipped him a few hundred dollars but a brand new watch worth $15,000.

"I never worried about the money side of things," Lasrado says. "There was always this worldwide client base being billed and charged every month. The money just kept rolling in. Not once did I stop to think what might happen in the future."

In 2000, Lasrado met and married Brisbane girl Sonia Stitchbury. When the couple had a daughter, Isabella, it should have signalled the start of a new era. Instead, Lasrado's empire began to crumble.

"I placed my money and welfare in the hands of others," he says. "I'd never dealt with a bank in my life. I figured, if you pay top dollars for good advice, whether it be accountants, solicitors, financial advisers or stockbrokers, you'll always get treated correctly. Some guys did do the right thing, but with others, the greed factor took over. They bled me dry.

"One long-time friend, in particular, saw an opportunity at my expense and took it. Today, he's one of the biggest pornographers on the planet."

An associate at Lasrado's former stockbroking firm, Tricom, told The Sun-Herald : "He was a polite young bloke, very successful, always a pleasure to deal with. He made significant money in the stockmarket but then ran into trouble outside our firm. It caused a domino effect which is still causing him problems."

As Lasrado's business affairs imploded, so did his personal life. In 2001, his growing celebrity profile in Queensland led to an extortion attempt at the hands of a notorious criminal identity. "I was contacted by a supposed businessman about a money-making idea. When I turned up for the meeting, a shotgun was pointed at my head. They demanded money and said my family would be harmed if I went to police. But, to be honest, I didn't know what else to do."

Lasrado says that, within days, police mounted a major sting operation to catch the gang responsible. However, just as the trap was about to occur, Lasrado pulled the plug. "Under the circumstances, it seemed like the safest thing to do," he says. The Sun-Herald can reveal that researchers for Channel Nine's Underbelly contacted Lasrado, having established a link between him, the extortion attempt and one of the show's central characters. The Sun-Herald has agreed not to publish the man's name.

"I understand why people might want to go there but, seriously, what good would come from me dragging that up now?" he says.

In December the same year, Lasrado was fined $1500 in Brisbane's Magistrates Court after he was caught in possession of an unlicensed semi-automatic handgun, allegedly bought following the extortion attempt and a house break-in.

In 2003, Lasrado's three-year marriage collapsed - and his life began to "cave in". Having borrowed several million dollars from short-term financiers at heady rates, he began to gamble it all away. He lost $1million on the outcome of the 2003 Rugby World Cup final between Australia and England. In 2004, police were called to Brisbane's city botanic gardens after passers-by found Lasrado sleeping in the front seat of his Lamborghini, with the engine still running and several hundred thousand dollars on the passenger seat. "What can I say? I'd had a really big day at the casino," he says.

As receivers began selling Lasrado's dwindling assets, the mismanaged millionaire became hooked on heroin. "Because of the industry I was working in, people will automatically assume I was on drugs from day one. But the truth is, I never touched one single drug until I was in my 30s," he says.

"I had become depressed and was suffering from terrible migraines. I wanted to escape it all. I was able to afford heroin and so I tried it. Within a week, it had taken complete control over me."

By February 2006, Lasrado had reached rock bottom. He was arrested and charged with heroin possession after a police surveillance operation found he had regularly deposited $4500 into the bank account of an alleged drug dealer, who, in turn, would deliver heroin to his door. While Lasrado later walked free from court with no conviction recorded, the experience led him to "a crossroads".

"I needed a reason to beat heroin. That reason was my family," he says. "I figured that while I still had parents and a daughter who loved me, I had a future. It became my biggest-ever hurdle."

Today, Lasrado is back where it all began - living with mum and dad - who couldn't be happier. His mum, Roshan, says: "It's so lovely to have Greg home. He's surprisingly tidy and also a great cook.

"He's always taken life's ups and downs in his stride and we're proud of him for that."

While he is being pursued for unpaid taxes, it is a 2005 road accident which causes him to live in a "permanent state of limbo". In tendered court documents, Brisbane mother-of-three Vairari Inglis alleged she was a passenger in a car driven by her husband when Lasrado's Lamborghini clipped their car, "causing it to spin and flip on its roof".

Medical reports said Mrs Inglis suffered a "significant crush injury and loss of function in her fingers." A psychiatric report states: "She [Mrs Inglis] described being able to see a trail of hair and blood [as] she desperately attempted to pull herself inside the car."

Lasrado will stand trial in the Brisbane District Court on September 1, charged with dangerous operation of a motor vehicle causing grievous bodily harm with circumstances of being adversely affected by an intoxicating substance. The charge carries a maximum sentence of 10 years.

"It was an accident, a terrible accident. I'm so sorry that poor woman was injured," he says.

Other than that, he says, "I have not one single regret. I lived 10 years at the top and not many people can say that. I purchased the most luxurious houses, drove the best cars.

"I know there are rumours about hidden money. I only wish they were true."

So what really goes through the mind of a man who lost $60million and now lives at home with his parents? "Look, it took losing everything for me to sit down and realise there are far more important things in life," he says.

"It's the simplest things which these days give me more pleasure than money ever did. I'm such a lucky bloke. My mum and dad remain my biggest fans. I made my money legitimately, I never once intentionally set out to hurt anybody and they know that.

"I still enjoy a great relationship with my ex-wife and, thanks to that, I get to tuck my daughter into bed most nights and kiss her goodnight. The feeling I get at that precise moment tops everything I've ever personally experienced. My heart melts every time."

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