7 Reasons Kid Rock’s New Song Might be the Worst Ever

So this Hate By Numbers gig was coming along pretty nicely. I knew the deal. I’d search cable news clips until I found something that made me want to shout things at my computer. Then I wrote those things down. But last Wednesday, my friend Matt Tobey sent me a link that changed everything. It was the new Kid Rock video. We both agreed the song was grounds for murder, but it was Tobey’s idea to do it as a Hate By Numbers. Could HBN stray from cable news? I wasn’t sure. Would the readers be thrown? And what about Kid Rock fans? Weren’t they sure to be offended? I could hear them now:

“Screw you, Gladstone,” they’d say while ironing a “These Colors Don’t Run” decal onto their overalls. “Kid Rock’s been nominated for three Grammys!”

And that’s true. But lots of people with no talent have been nominated for Grammys. Like Kid Rock for instance.

Ultimately, I decided to just go for it, and let contempt be my guide as it leads me to fun and exciting new areas of disdain. So here it is. A very special episode of Hate By Numbers.

P.S. Yes, I’m going to get a real green screen for future installments. But in the meantime, I quite enjoy the glitch that makes it appear like I’m wearing blue-tinged braces.

Original here