Quentin Tarantino has just gone out with his long-anticipated script Inglorious Bastards about World War II.I scored the awesome script and took a look. ALSO PLEASE NOTE THAT TARANTINO spells Bastards with an E as in Basterds.
Here is a preview of Tarnatino’s kickassery!
My name is Lt. Aldo Raine, and I’m putting together a special team. And I need me eight soldiers. Eight – Jewish – American – Soldiers. Now y’all might have heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leavin a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwackin’ guerilla army, we’re gonna be doin one thing, and thing only, Killin Nazi’s. The members of the Nationalist Socialist Party, have conquered Europe through murder, torture, intimidation, and terror. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do to them. Now I don’t know about y’all. But I sure as hell, didn’t come down from the goddamn smoky mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half Sicily, and then jump out of a fuckin air-o-plane, to teach the Nazi’s lessons in humanity. Nazi ain’t got no humanity. There the foot soldiers of a Jew hatin, mass murderin manic, and they need to be destroyed. That’s why any and every son-of-a-bitch we find wearin a Nazi uniform, there gonna die. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty, they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty, in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heals, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans, will be sickened by us. And the Germans, will talk about us. And the Germans, will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night, and their subconscious tortures them for the evil they’ve done, it will be with thoughts of us, that it tortures them with. But I got a word of warning to all would be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me, personally. Every man under my command, owes me, one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me, one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred Nazi’s or you will die trying.
-Lt. Aldo Raine aka Aldo the Apache
That folks is pretty much the jist of what Tarantino's masterpiece is about. Per Seth Rogen, Jews got laid because of Eric Bana in Munich. If that is the case, then Jews are going to be having 70’s era Hugh Hefner style orgies because of the eight badasses of Tarantino’s INGLORIOUS BASTERDS! The Basterds are not in the prisoner takin business. The Basterds are in the killin Nazi business. And cousin business is boomin according to Lt. Aldo. The role of Lt. Aldo has been offered to Brad Pitt who would be on some serious crack if he passes on this.
The above monologue was taken from the opening of the 2nd chapter of 5 titled: Inglorious Basterds – my favorite chapter. Don’t get me wrong, Chapter One: Once Upon a Time … Nazi Occupied France , Chapter Three: German Night in Paris, Chapter Four: Operation Kino, Chapter Five: Revenge of the Giant Face are very solidly written. Chapter 5 is a nailbiter.
If you took the bad guy swagger of RESERVOIR DOGS, the uber coolness and structure of PULP FICTION, throw in the revenge angle of KILL BILL, set it in World War II – you get INGLORIOUS BASTERDS.
My favorite basterd? SGT. Donny Donowitz aka THE BEAR JEW. He bashes in German soldier’s skulls with a baseball bat. According to the German legend, The Bear Jew is a Golem. An avenging Jew angel, conjured up by a vengeful rabbi, to smite the Aryans!
Where there are good guys, there are bad guys and the main bad guy of this 165 page epic is COL. HANS LANDA aka THE JEW HUNTER. An evil fucker and a delicious role for someone like Tim Roth.
Plot-wise, what is INGLORIOUS BASTERDS about?
The bastards have to take part in OPERATION KINO, go behind enemy lines and bomb a movie theater in Nazi occupied France which is premiering Goebble’s (Hitler’s right hand man) latest German propaganda war film. A French Jewish teenager named SHOSANNA (her family is massacred by Col Landa in Chapter 1), flees to Paris, where she winds up running the movie theater that the bastards have to bomb.
Shosanna has her own plans for the German hierarchy on premiere night.
Hands down, the script was the most enjoyable read of the year for me so far. Again, a masterpiece.
Killer dialogue, excellent execution, and master craftsmanship by Tarantino.
The script is supposed to go into production this October to premiere in Cannes next May and I am eager as hell to see the finished product. Trust me folks, waiting all these years for Tarantino to be done with
INGLORIOUS BASTERDS was worth the wait.
HASTA EL PROXIMO CAPITULO…
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