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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Songs About Butts: No Ifs or Ands About It

By Clinton Schaff

Editor’s Note (Update): Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back was intentionally left off this list. Too cliche. And for that matter, so was “Shake Your Booty” by K.C. & the Sunshine Band. Booty, Ass, Butt, Derriere, Arse, Behind, Buns, Buttocks, Hind End, Keister, Nates, Posterior, Prat, Fanny, Rear End, Tooshie, Seat, Fundament, Backside, Bottom, Hindquarters, Tush, Rump, Stern, Tail Rear, Bum, Can, Heine. Let me count the ways! There are lots of words for butts, but there are even more songs about ass, representing all genres and spanning decades. Can’t fit all that booty in these editorial jeans so I’ve whittled down the list to 25 favorites, organized by genre. Shake it!

BLUES

“Funky Butt” by Mississippi John Hurt

Mississippi John Hurt

Booty was a subject of choice even back when the great bluesman recorded the now classic “Funky Butt” about a foul smelling woman: “You see that gal with the red dress on / She got funky butt stinky butt sure as you’re born / Well I don’t like it no how.”


“Do the Rump” by The Black Keys

Black Keys

Originally recorded by Junior Kimbrough, The Black Keys do an admirable job with a modern update. “Hey now baby - Let’s do the rump / Yeah darling - Lets do the rump / Do the rump ’til the broad daylight, broad daylight / Hey now baby - All over again / Yeah darling - All over again.”


FUNK

“Butt to Butt Resuscitation” by Funkadelic

Funkadelic

Why muck with this amazing song title with too many words. It’s real simple: “I’m gonna go back / Come and take me there / I’m gonna go back / Anything beyond compare.” Repeat 14 times.


“Loose Booty” by Sly & the Family Stone

Sly & the Family Stone

Wisdom from Sly during these difficult economic times: “Well, when you’re tryin’ to flee from any fakin’ grin / Tell you what to do, how to bring the money in / Find yourself some rich dude, let it all hang out / Get into some dancing, do what it’s all about / Loose booty.”


JAZZ

“Tush” by Lester Young

Lester Young

Prez don’t need no words to get the tush a-shakin’. Listen to that tenor and watch the tail feathers move!


“Duke Booty” by Miles Davis

Miles Davis

Miles hooks up with Easy Mo Bee to pay homage to Duke Booty.


“Funky Butt” by Sidney Bechet

Sidney Bechet

From 1945, this rollicking jazz number was composed by the counterculture icon, Mezz Mezzrow, and performed by the soprano sax king, Sidney Bechet, along with Hot Lips Page on trumpet and Mezz himself on clarinet. Hot jazz, indeed!


ROCK

“Tush” by ZZ Top

ZZ Top

In the seventies, before the band hit the MTV airwaves with Eliminator, ZZ Top was a blistering blues band. This simple plea is one of the trio’s best boogies. “I been up, I been down / Take my word, my way around / I ain’t askin’ for much / I said, lord, take me downtown / I’m just lookin’ for some tush.”


“Carolyn’s Booty” by Presidents of the United States of America

Presidents of the United States of America

Not exactly poetry, but this playful bonus cut from the band’s popular 1993 debut album is quite catchy. “I caught a glimpse of Carolyn’s Bootie / As she was getting dressed for work in my room / I saw the moonbeam shine on her bootie / I saw the sunbeam shine on her butt, I like it (me like it) / Later on, I laid my hands on her / I wanna kiss some bootie / Curvaceous / So delicious / Mmmm Nutritious / B-b-b-b-b-b-bodacious.”


“Your Arse My Place” by Elastica

Elastica

Shortlived Britpop band, Elastica, had buckets of attitude and a great update on the post-punk sound of Wire and the Buzzcocks. “Cocaine, it’s crack / Bloody, was black / I’m class, you’re ace / Your arse, in my place / Get with it, baby / I like it like that.”


“Butt Town” by Iggy Pop

Iggy Pop

Gotta love Iggy! “In Butt Town baby / I’m gonna be a star / I’m gonna shake my butt far / Now here we go / I’m gonna shake my butt / Shake my butt shake my butt / In Butt Town.”


“The Ballad of Johnny Butt” by Sublime

Sublime

“Johnny butt was a man with a real strong will to survive / He just keep pushin’ on even though he was barely alive / So shoot it up shoot it up it just don’t matter / Johnny says he wants go do it / Says he wants to kill a cop / We’ve got a brand new dance its called we’ve got to overcome.”

HIP HOP

“Shake Your Rump” by Beastie Boys

Beastie Boys

“Shake your rump / Never been dumped ’cause I’m the most mackinest / Never been jumped ’cause I’m known the most packinest / Yeah we’ve got beef chief / We’re knocking out teeth chief / And if you don’t believe us you should question your belief Keith / Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat / Like Fred Flintstone driving around with bald feet.”


“Shake Ya Ass” by Mystikal

Mystikal

For all the young’uns in the house, I’ll only reference the chorus. Ask your parents before you listen to this joint. “Shake ya ass / But watch ya self / Shake ya ass / Show me what you workin’ with.”


“Big Ole Butt” by LL Cool J

LL Cool J

“She had a big ole booty, I was doin my duty / I mean, yo, I admit that my girls a cutie / But Tina was erotic, Earl’s my witness / With the kind of legs that put stockings out of business / When I went home, I kissed my girl on the cheek / But in the back of my mind it was this big butt freak.”


“Tush” by Ghostface with Missy Elliot

Ghostface

Same warning to the young’uns as above. “Somebody tell that girl that her ass too big / I give it to her right and she let me live / Can’t eat that, cuz there’s no relationship / I beat that, the next day you called in sick / Frontin’, not for nothin’, I pop buttons / Off Baby Phat, Levi’s, J.Lo’s, Guess and Gap / Cuz it’s like that, young lady, bet I make you shake / Like the Puffy and Jay-Z’s, Dre’s and J.D.’s.”


“Ms. Fat Booty” by Mos Def

Mos Def

“I seen her on the ave, spotted her more than once / Ass so fat that you could see it from the front / She spot me like paparazzi / Shot me a glance in that catwoman stance with the fat booty pants
Hot damn! / What your name love, where you came from?”


COUNTRY

“Hairy Ass Hillbillies” by Jerry Jeff Walker

Jerry Jeff Walker

“This song it was written down / In a pea green windowless room / Four o’clock and the TV’s dead / Wired up with nothin’ to do / I drunk all my whiskey I smoked all my beer / I’m already gone I just got here / An old hairy ass hillbilly / Still up and hangin’ on.”


“Big Booty” by Willie Nelson

Willie Nelson

“She said I ain’t gonna fix you no more sausage / Biscuits and gravy on the side / You done said the wrong thing to me baby / And you can kiss big booty good-bye.”


“Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in Bed” by Kinky Friedman

Kinky Friedman

“You uppity women I dont understand / Why you gotta go and try to act like a man / But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink / You’d better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink / Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed / Thats what I to my baby said / Women’s liberation is a-going to your head / Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.”


SOUL

“Booty” by Erykah Badu

Erykah Badu

“Your booty might be bigga / But I still can pull your nigga / But I don’t want him / Ya got sugar on your pita / But ya nigga thinks I’m sweeter / But I don’t want him / Ya know the whole encyclopedia / But ya nigga thinks I’m deeper / But I don’t want him / Got a whole lot a junk off in ya trunk / But ya nigga think I’m live and I keep him crunk / I don’t want him.”


“Feelin’ On Yo Booty” by R. Kelly

R. Kelly

This is my song for real, no doubt / Said the DJ’s makin’ me feel thugged out / As I walk you to the dance floor / We begin to dance slow / Put yo’ arms around me / I’m feelin’ on yo’ booty.”


METAL

“Ass Itch” by Korn

Korn

“I have no idea why this song is titled “Ass Itch.” Can you shed some light? I hate writing shit, it is so stupid / What’s my problem today? / Maybe I’m depressed / Maybe I’m not listening to what comes out my pen / Pain. . .Pain. . .Pain. . .”


“The Master Has a Butt” by GWAR

GWAR

These lyrics take the cake for pure inanity. “Well I’m a real bad mama / I had a little something to eat last night / A real bad man I like to spend a lot of time on the can / It’s not alright / Well we f**ked up the tablet and the Master heard the sound / The Master has a butt.”


ZYDECO

“Funky Butt” by Jr. Rockin’ Dopsie

Jr. Rockin Dopsie

This zydeco dance will undoubtedly get your tush moving.


“Don’t Mess With My Tush” by Rockin’ Sydney

Rockin' Sydney

Great accordion playing, horrible drum machine beat. “Don’t you mess with my tush / Find yourself another bush / If you want to keep your nose / Keep your hands off my rose.”

Original here

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