Wednesday, July 30, 2008

SDCC 08: ‘Batman: The Brave and The Bold’ Trailer + New Debut Date


Geeks of Doom Invade SDCC 2008

BatmanWithout a doubt, DC has managed to get some of the greatest cartoons ever produced. For an entire generation of kids, our memories of our childhood are indelibly linked to watching Batman and Superman on a Saturday morning. Now, a new generation of kids are going to get to watch Batman team up with a variety of characters in Batman: The Brave and The Bold.

News of this cartoon is not news in and of itself, but a new debut date and trailer are definitely newsworthy. Cartoon Network has announced, after first announcing it would premiere Fall 2008, then pushing it back to March 2009, that Batman: The Brave and the Bold will debut on Friday, November 14, 2008!

Secondly, Warner Bros. Animation has released a new description and trailer for the series, which you can check out there below.

The trailer, sourced from the good folks at CBR, really has me excited. It has an old style animation to it that is just perfect for this show, and the cross between the new Blue Beetle costume and the old style Green Arrow costume is awesome. Take a look for yourself!


Batman isn’t going at it alone this time! From Warner Bros. Animation comes the latest interpretation of the classic Batman franchise. Our caped crusader is teamed up with heroes from across the DC Universe, delivering nonstop action and adventure with a touch of comic relief. Blue Beetle, Green Arrow, Aquaman, and countless others will get a chance to uphold justice alongside Batman. Though still based in Gotham, Batman will frequently find himself outside city limits, facing situations that are both unfamiliar and exhilarating. With formidable foes around every corner, Batman will still rely on his stealth, resourcefulness and limitless supply of cool gadgets to bring justice home.


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Kevin Smith Does Batman

by: Peter Sciretta

We missed this in the madness of Comic Con, but Kevin Smith announced that he is co-writing a new Batman miniseries with pal Walt Flanagan (who View Askewers will know from Walt and Steve-Dave fame: “Tell Em Steve-Dave!). The three issue mini-series will re-introduce Onomatopoeia, a villain Smith created on his Green Arrow run. Not much is known about the character, only the he can perfectly imitate the sounds around him, rarely speaks and is skilled with weaponry.

While screenwriters in comics is now part of the norm, Smith was one of the first Hollywood writers to cross over to the comic book world with a highly acclaimed run on Daredevil. Smith later lost the good will of comic fans when he became late on a couple issues due to his Hollywood obligations. But apparently the scripts for this upcoming miniseries are already in hand, and the comics will begin hitting stores in November 2008.

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O’Reilly: Richest 1% would have to finance ‘folks who…smoke reefers 24/7.’

or.gifToday, in a Washington Times op-ed, Bill O’Reilly complains that if President Bush’s tax cuts “on those making $250,000 or more” are repealed, “me and other rich folks” would have to finance “folks who dropped out of school, who are too lazy to hold a job, who smoke reefers 24/7.” He adds, “I am part of the 1 percent of Americans that paid an astounding 40 percent of all federal income tax in 2006,” But, as the Wall Street Journal recently noted, “the average tax rate of the wealthiest 1% fell to its lowest level in at least 18 years.” The Wonk Room has more here.

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Text Me TV: Proof that the Apocalypse is Near

So I saw an ad the other day on this shitty local station based in Lansing, MI, for this late night show called Text-Me TV. It’s on at like 2 AM so pretty much no one watches it, but their commercial intrigued me nonetheless, because its big selling point was that “you could be the star” or something along those lines. The ad didn’t really explain the show, so I had to do a little research to figure out what the hell the purpose of the program was.

Text Me TV

It turns out, Text-Me TV is a show hosted by a couple moronic college students, or kids in that age range, and they sit on the couch and gab while a bunch of text scrolls up on the screen. By now I’ll bet your wondering how you can be the star of such a thrilling television show. Simple: you send these two ass-clowns a text message, and it will display on the television! Isn’t that exciting?! That’s right, for only 99 cents, you can send a text message to two complete strangers, and it will appear for a minute or two at 3:00 in the morning on some regional public-access network that nobody watches. How exciting!

And if your text message is really cool the two dipshit hosts might actually acknowledge it, and talk about your text message on live television. I don’t know about you all, but this is the coolest thing ever. And by cool, I mean the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

This is one of those times where the mere concept for a show is so stunningly retarded, I can’t believe that it was approved by anyone, ever, for any reason. In fact, if the fact that this show exists isn’t proof that we are on the verge of an apocalyptic meltdown, then I don’t know what is.

Don’t people have better things to do than send text messages to a couple of losers who have nothing better to do than sit around talking about the text messages they are getting? What’s even better (worse), they pitch the show as a “revolution” in live TV. Check out these talking points from the show’s website, complete with random capitalization and lousy grammar:

TeXTMeTV is a revolution in live television.

Totally live, its the show where You Are The Show.

From Late Late Night to the Early Early Morning,

Every Night, you can be on live TV!

But the party doesn’t stop, the show doesn’t end there.

Take TMTV with you wherever you are, wherever you go.

TMTV is more than a chat room in magazine show format. It’s a news bulletin board. It’s improv comedy , gossip column and poetry slam all rolled into one. If you want, it can be like your own personal classified advertising machine on steroids..

Are you ready for your close-up on TMTV ? It’s whatever you want your appearance on TV to be. And it’s live, all night, every night.

TeXTMeTV is your new global community … TMTV is TV for the myspace generation!

Pretty goddamn lame, right? How can they say that I can “appear” on live TV, when all that appears is a message I sent? Now I can already hear someone trying to derail my argument, “But Andy, you haven’t even watched the show, how can you judge?” Easy, its fucking stupid, and I’m certainly not staying up till 3 AM to find out. The only local access show that was ever fun to watch was Hot Trax, where a couple teenagers would play their favorite rock songs on their stereo and play air guitar and dance around. No really, I’m serious. I promise. It was great.

I wonder how many people actually watch this Text Me TV shit. I can’t imagine that it’s more than three people. Maybe they show it in prisons as some kind of crazy punishments for rapists or something. If this is what they call a “revolution”, then let’s all just kill ourselves now and get it over with.

This has been Andy sayin’, “See, that’s the worse we got is, uh, Jemimah’s Witnesses.”

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11 Things we just learned about Prince

by Erica Palan

Picture 76.pngPretty much everyone alive in the ‘90s knows about Prince’s infamous name change. Here’s 11 things you might not have known about the artist currently known as Prince.

1. He’s a Jehovah’s Witness.

Baptized in 2001, the Purple Rain star is a devout Jehovah’s Witness. And he even goes door-to-door! In October 2003, a woman in Eden Prairie, Minnesota opened her door to discover the famously shy artist standing in front of her home. He introduced himself as Prince Nelson and came inside along with his bassist, former Sly and the Family Stone member Larry Graham.

2. Prince is his real name.

Born to two musical parents on June 7, 1958 in Minneapolis, Prince Rogers Nelson was named after his father’s jazz combo.

3. He’s written a lot of hit songs for other artists.

Picture 83.pngIn addition to penning several hundred songs for himself, Prince also composed music for other artists, including “Manic Monday” for the Bangles, “I Feel For You” for Chaka Khan, and “Nothing Compares 2 U” covered by Sinead O’Connor.

4. His symbol actually had a name.

Even though the whole world referred to him as either The Artist or The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, that weird symbol Prince used was actually known as “Love Symbol #2.” It was copyrighted in 1997, but when Prince’s contract expired at midnight on December 31, 1999, he announced that he was reclaiming his given name.

5. His sister sued him.

In 1989, Prince’s half-sister, Lorna Nelson, sued him, claiming that she’d written the lyrics to “U Got the Look,” a song from his ninth studio album that features the voice of pop artist Sheena Easton. After a long court battle, a judge finally sided with Prince.

6. He ticked off the Vice President’s wife.

After purchasing the Purple Rain soundtrack for her 11-year-old daughter, Tipper Gore—wife of Clinton vice president Al Gore—became enraged over the explicit lyrics of “Darling Nikki,” a song that references masturbation and other graphic sex acts. Gore felt that there should be some sort of warning on the label and formed the Parents Music Resource Center, which pressured the recording industry to adopt a ratings system similar to the one employed in the movies. To Prince’s credit, he didn’t oppose the label system and became one of the first artists to release a “clean” version of explicit albums.

7. He lost a child.

Prince’s son, Gregory, was born in November of 1996. Tragically, he died just one week later from a rare genetic condition called Pfieffer Syndrome, which affects to growth of the skull. Prince and his then-wife, Mayte Garcia, refused to discuss the incident publicly and divorced in August of 2000.

8. He’s a little like Willy Wonka.

Picture 92.pngIn 2006, Universal hid 14 purple tickets—seven in the US and seven internationally—inside Prince’s latest album, 3121. Fans who found a purple ticket were invited to attend a private performance at Prince’s Los Angeles home.

9. He simultaneously held the number 1 spots for film, single and album.

During the week of July 27, 1984, Prince’s film Purple Rain hit number one at the box office. At the same time, “When Doves Cry,” was holding the top spot as both an album and a single. Talk about the best week ever.

10. He effed up SNL.

During Prince’s first appearance on Saturday Night Live, he performed the song “Party Up” and sang the lyric, “Fightin’ war is a such a f*ing bore.” It went unnoticed at the time, but in the closing segment, Charles Rocket clearly said, “I’d like to know who the f* did it.” This was the only episode of SNL where the F-bomb was dropped twice.

11. He had a spiritual epiphany.

In 1987, Prince was due to release “The Black Album.” However, mere days before it was scheduled to drop, Prince scrapped the whole thing, calling it “dark and immortal.” (It’s supposedly also really terrible.) The musician claims to have reached this decision following “a spiritual epiphany.” Some reports say that it was actually an early experience with drug ecstasy, but maybe The Artist just knew it would flop.

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Top 13 Vampire Babes

by David Schwartz
There really is something about a girl with a pasty complexion, long fangs and an unhealthy desire to suck your blood dry.

OK, so put like that, it sounds a bit odd. But there’s little doubt that vampires can be very sexy.

Admittedly, Dracula never did anything for us. But whether it’s Kate Beckinsale in a tight leather bodysuit or Salma Hayek dancing with a snake, these damsels of the dark are worth getting into a flap about…

13. Sadie Frost as Lucy
Film: Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Yeah, we can’t stand her either, but obviously there is something about bloodsucking which really agrees with her.

12. Anne Parillaud as Marie
Film: Innocent Blood

French beauty Parillaud is so good you almost forget how bad the film is. Don’t believe us? It’s basically The Lost Boys meets The Sopranos. Now are you convinced?

11. Angie Everhart as Lilith
Film: Bordello of Blood

Angie gives a stand out performance as a vampire hooker.

10. Soledad Miranda as Countess Nadine Carody
Film: Vampyros Lesbos

Vampires. Lesbians. Need we say anymore?

9. Catherine Deneuve as Miriam Blaylock
Film: The Hunger

Catherine Deneuve indulges in a bit of lesbian vampire action, unfortunately with old vinegar tits Susan Sarandon.

8. Aaliyah as Queen Akasha
Film: Queen of the Damned

OK, the film sucked shit through a straw, but Aaliyah looks amazing in her final appearance before her untimely death.

7. Jeri Ryan as Valerie Sharpe
Film: Dracula 2000

She’s more famous being in Star Trek, but she looks pretty good as a vampire too. Excuse the foreign language clip, but you get the point.

6. Leonor Varela as Nyssa
Film: Blade II

Forget the fact she can’t act for toffee and shares her name with a fabric conditioner, Varela makes a fang-statistic vampire in Blade II.

5. Monica Bellucci as one of Dracula’s brides
Film: Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Look, it could have been any of the three, but we would settle for Monica Bellucci. Excuse the long intro to this clip, but it’s worth it.

4. Olga Kurylenko as The Vampire
Film: Paris, je t’aime

The new Bond girl makes quite an impression as a blood-sucking vamp in this 2006 French film. Above is the trailer, blink and you’ll miss her.

3. Ingrid Pitt as Elisabeth Nodosheen
Film: Countess Dracula

Hammer horror’s finest. No vampire list would be the same without her.

2. Kate Beckinsale as Selene
Film: Underworld

We’re not huge fans of Kate Beckinsale or Underworld, but there is something about her role as Selene which stands out.

1. Salma Hayek as Santanico Pandemonium
Film: From Dusk Till Dawn

One of those movie moments that stick in your head.

Honorable mentions:
Sharon Tate as Sarah in the Fearless Vampire Killers
Jami Gertz as Star in The Lost Boys
Traci Lords as Racquel in Blade
Jenny Wright from Near Dark
Amanda Donahoe as Lady Sylvia-Marsh in The Lair of the White Worm

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C'mon Hollywood #171

... fix the MPAA already!
by Sturdy

I hate the Motion Picture Association of America. Not just with that annoying, loud refrigerator hatred, but with an insane passion. Typically, my hatred for the MPAA is buried deep inside because I’m not intimately involved with their day to day dealings. But every now and again you read a story like what happened with ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO and that rage boils back up like a bad case of oral herpes.

Does anyone else find Elizabeth Banks incredibly sexy?

Kirby Dick made a documentary a while back called THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED that really exposed the MPAA for what they are; a sham of an organization. There are no standards, no rules, no guidelines. It’s whatever the random people feel like on any given day. So if one of the guys on the ratings board found out his wife was blowing his best friend, your adult comedy movie will get an NC-17. If the bored housewife with too much time on her hands had a fight with her kid; your family film just got an “R” rating. I have more of these, but basically, when you don’t have any rules or standards to go by, you’re leaving the fate of someone’s films up to chance. In an organization as big and influential as Hollywood, that’s unacceptable.

Yes, he organized a stakeout on the MPAA

Imagine if the Food and Drug Administration had a similar policy regarding which drugs made it to store shelves. Would you feel safe buying that cough medicine? No, you’d buy a book on herbal remedies and hope for the best. Granted, people’s lives aren’t at stake when it comes to movies, but movies are a form of art and the ratings associated with movies dictate who is allowed to see a movie and who isn’t, even if 98% of the theaters in America don’t actually card people or enforce the rules. The point is that an NC-17 rating is the kiss of death for what should be an R rated film and a PG-13 rating can mean big bucks to a family film that should have been rated PG.

Why are there so many shades of green in these preview ratings?

The biggest issue I have is with the varying standards for violence and nudity. Why is it ok to watch 20 people get mowed down with a machine gun, but one penis on screen and everyone flips out? I can serve three life sentences for killing someone, but if I expose myself in public, I just have to spend the night in the drunk tank at the local sheriff’s office. Why is violence so easily accepted in Hollywood, but nudity is not? I’m sure this has some much larger meaning on our society, but I’m trying to stay focused. The biggest kicker is this quote from the MPAA website: “78% of parents with children under 13 found the ratings to be "very useful" to "fairly useful" in helping them make decisions about what movies their children see.” Is that even a real statistic? On a recent poll, I found that 80% of the people polled find that eating is useful in relieving hunger pains. And that’s the best statistic they can come up with to brag about their effectiveness. How have they managed to stay around since 1945?

Because I can’t get enough Banks.

There needs to be a set of guidelines that can be posted or sent out to every director and movie studio. I don’t know what a 13 year old should be allowed to see or shouldn’t, but if we had some guidelines, at least we’d have standards and a level playing field. Of course, not everyone is going to agree on whatever standards are set, but I think most filmmakers will appreciate the effort to set some guidelines. At that point they don’t have to worry about editing and ruining their film to achieve a particular rating. The major studio heads can collectively do just about anything, and it’s time they step in and fix the MPAA. The joke has gone on long enough.

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Top 10 '80s Movie Moments We Once Loved But Now See in a Different, and More Disturbing, Light

By Jennifer Mathieu

When you're young, dumb, and you've used so much Aqua Net that your neurons aren't firing normally, it's easy to fall for movie tricks that make things seem one way but when you really think about it years later, they are really another way. It's happened with a lot of '80s movies, so here's a collection of the Top 10 '80s Movie Moments we see differently now that we’ve aged a little bit (just a little bit), in no particular order.

The Breakfast Club: Allison's Transformation


Could Ally Sheedy's basket case character Allison have been any cooler, what with her dandruff art and her parents who ignored her and her goth wardrobe? I currently love to hate how this classic teen film had to involve an MTV-style makeover of Allison into a Claire Standish, Jr. And only after Molly Ringwald's Claire has completely done her up does Emilio Estevez decide to plant a big wet one on Miss Allison. Whatever! When I was 13, I thought it was sweet. Now, I see it as just another example of how teenagerhood really crushes individuality of any kind. It might have been cooler to see Molly get all punked out, now that I think about it.


Say Anything: Diane and Lloyd Get Back Together


OK, so remember the scene where Diane (Ione Skye) shows up at Lloyd's (John Cusak) kickboxing studio and she asks him back even though she'd completely broken his heart and given him a pen? At first watching, the 16-year-old heart in me found that totally sweet and believable. Only now, I get the feeling Diane was just a lost, freaked-out girl whose dad had been convicted on tax evasion and she was running to the only man nearby. Even Lloyd intuitively gets this. ("Are you here because you need someone, or you need me? Forget it, I don't care.") So I guess that for any guy out there who wants a girl, make sure her dad (John Mahoney) and he's ripping off old people.

Sub point: As much as I love Lloyd, reflection as an adult makes me find it highly unlikely that a) a teenage boy would write a love letter to the girl he lost his virginity to her and b) Lloyd and Diane would have gotten together at all.

Sixteen Candles: Jake Ryan Goes for Samantha Baker


Ah, the classic Sixteen Candles. The dreamtastic teenage girl fantasy of meeting Mr. Hunk-ola and having him kiss you over a burning birthday cake. Let's think back for a moment though and face facts. The only reason -- the only reason -- Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling) was into Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) was because he found that note she'd written in Independent Study that said she wanted to have sex with him. THAT WAS THE ONLY REASON. He didn’t know her, had never really spoken to her, and he was basically tired of his blond cheerleader girlfriend throwing parties and wrecking his parents' house all the time. Samantha was a demure sophomore ready to give it up. That's all. And that's why he was interested in her. Creepy!

Sub point: No way would Samantha's family have ever let her miss her sister's wedding reception!

Sixteen Candles: Every Scene Involving Long Duk Dong


When a bunch of us watched this film at my bachelorette party, we thought it was going to be laughs laughs laughs. Yet we all found ourselves collectively cringing in embarrassment as the movie does nothing but make fun of Asian people over and over and over again. Ouch.

Sixteen Candles: Anthony Michael Hall's Character Essentially Rapes That Girl


Wow, Sixteen Candles really hit a trifecta. Again, this point went unnoticed by me when I first watched this film in junior high. Again, during the viewing at the aforementioned bachelorette party, we squirmed uncomfortably as we discussed the fact that Farmer Ted basically does it with Jake's ex-girlfriend as she is passed out in a car and in no state to consent to sexual intercourse. By the way, Jake basically handed his ex-girlfriend off with a wink and nod, which makes him even less dreamy, now that I think about it.

The Breakfast Club: Anthony Michael Hall Still Has To Write The Essay


Lest you think I'm picking on AMH, I'll provide another moment that made me shake my head in frustration when I rewatched this movie as an adult. Despite the fact that they've all shared moments and cried and smoked pot and danced to We Are Not Alone by Karla DeVito, Anthony Michael Hall's nerd character still has to write the essay for Principal Vernon. It reminds me of being in school and having to do the entire group project by myself because I was a straight-A student. Not fair at all, yet at first viewing, I thought nothing of it.

The Karate Kid: Daniel Wins The Tournament


I'll straight up admit that I had and still do have the hots for Ralph "Daniel LaRusso" Macchio. He was totally yummy in that nerdy Italian Stallion way. When my dad took me and my brother to see The Karate Kid in theaters, I had no trouble believing that Daniel would have won the All Valley Karate Tournament. Now, viewing the same film with my adult eyes, I take one look at Johnny (William Zabka) and think, "No way in Hell." I mean honestly, did you check out the muscles on Zabka?

Sub point: Now, as an adult, I also do not believe that Pat Morita's character would have actually been able to "fix" Daniel's leg with a little rub and tug. Seriously, was there even any Icy Hot on his hands when he did that magic trick? Come on.

Pretty In Pink: She Doesn’t Pick Duckie


I guess this one doesn't really count as, even when we were young, most girls felt Andie Walsh (Molly Ringwald) should have ended up with Duckie Dale (Jon Cryer). Apparently, John Hughes originally planned for Duckie and Andie to end up together and changed it when audiences reacted negatively. I don't know who was in those audiences, but I felt it then and I feel it now. She belonged with Duckie. Even if he was kinda stalker-ish.

Some Kind of Wonderful: Keith Blows His College Money on Diamond Earrings


Oh my God, I loved this movie. I loved the way Keith (Eric Stoltz) ended up with the punk rock Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson). I loved the way Lea Thompson’s character Amanda told off that Hardy Jens guy (what kind of name is that?). I love the date that took place in the museum (thanks to Duncan). Even today, I am willing to believe that all of that could happen. But what I cannot believe, what I cannot get over, is the fact that Keith was stupid enough to blow all of his college money on some diamond earrings for the woman he loved. When I first saw this film, I thought that was the epitome of self-sacrifice and romance. Now, having just paid off my student loans, I think it was the stupidest thing he could have ever done. You fucking moron! You just blew your college fund on some fucking earrings!!!

Ferris Bueller's Day Off: No One Believes Jennifer Grey


When I first saw this movie, I thought Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) was the coolest, most incredible high school boy ever to walk the Earth. Now, as an adult, I look at this film with my grown-up eyes and feel incredibly sorry for…Jennifer Grey. As Ferris's sister Jeanie, she is forced to endure her parents' obvious favoritism toward Ferris as well as a police force and a school system that refuse to believe anything she has to say. Ferris is a liar and a cheat, and Jeanie follows the rules. Yet Jeanie gets punished (except for the fact that she gets to kiss a young Charlie Sheen…meow). Not fair. Not fair at all!

Sub point: I cannot believe they actually thought running the odometer backwards would work. Dumb ass teenagers!

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