Monday, March 16, 2009

The Best Bionic Characters

As we recently reported, one-eyed filmmaker Rob Spence will be the next Bionic Man. The Canadian film whiz has crafted a prosthetic eye-masked camera to go undercover for a documentary about surveillance cameras he'll be filming. Spence's stroke of mad genius was partly inspired by the '70s drama The Six Million Dollar Man, in which Steve Austin, a brutally injured astronaut, is restored to life with the help of mechanical body parts.
Turns out, Hollywood loves an average-Joe-turned-superhero-via-machine. While audiences fear the Terminators (who have no human in them at all) they love Cyborgs, humans whose metal limbs enhance their abilities. To honor Spence and his eye-camera, we've put together a list of our favorite bionic men, women and, of course, bunnies.

1. Steve Austin: Astronaut, a man barely alive... That is, until he's rebuilt and off to save the country. Mr. Austin inspired a series of machine-enhanced TV characters, including that lovely Bionic Woman.

2. Cyborg: It's always tough when monsters cross experimental portals and kill your mother. It's even worse when the monster rips off half your limbs and flesh in the process. Thankfully, Victor Stone's father was able to build him a prosthetic frame, and the young Cyborg was off to join the Teen Titans.


3. Mad-Eye Moody: Well, he's not exactly a muggle, but Moody's certainly very human, even if he can also see through walls with that swiveling blue eye.

4. Cherry Darling: Rose McGowan's machine-gun-legged go-go dancer in Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror. Imagine dancing on that thing!

5. Inspector Gadget: The absent-minded sleuth isn't missing any limbs or gifted with superpowers, but he needs to be up here, if only for his techno-savvy brain.

6. Luke Skywalker: It's never a good idea to fight with daddy, especially if he's Darth Vader and there are light sabers involved. Poor Luke found this out the hard way, when his evil father cut off his hand in duel. Luckily for young Skywalker, the George Lucas deity running his universe gave men the gift of fashioning life-like prosthetic hands.

7. Buster Bluth: The Mitch Hurwitz god isn't as generous as the Lucas deity, so poor, seal-maligned Buster is only equipped with a hook (until he gets an awkward prosthetic, which his parents use in unmentionable ways). He's not exactly a superhero, but when he ziplines down that telephone wire, he sure looks like one ('till he falls through a glass ceiling, that is).

8. Bionic Bunny: All right, he's not actually bionic; his only weakness is salt. But the heavily-merchandised bunny superhero from the children's fictional series, Arthur, deserves props, if only for his awesome name.

Original here

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