Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Top 10 Worst Hairstyles In Music

Like Nickelback, we all yearn to be rockstars. But being a rockstar is tough for many reasons - not the least of which is landing a good stylist and securing a 'look' that'll be memorable, but in a good way. Here's a list of ten musical hairstyles that we wish we could forget.

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Mike Score
Almost too obvious to mention, the 'Flock of Seagulls'
haircut gets placed on our list for two reasons: 1) The fact that it is still parodied in the media, so that we can all relive the horror and die a thousand tiny little deaths every time it comes up on screen (Shame on YOU, diet Pepsi!) and 2) Prior to hitting the big time with their hit, "I Ran (So Far Away), (*shudder*), Mike Score was a hairdresser. His 'do was not the fault of some overzealous stylist, but sorely his own creation. Wowzers!

80's Hair Bands
Not wanting to single out one band (ahem, Poison - or Cinderella, pictured above) for this atrocity perpetrated by many, 80's hair bands belong here simply for the pure wuss-factor of this style. For some reason, rock bands spent hours teasing their hair instead of rocking out. For the sheer oxymoron-iness of the look, (and for the power ballad), 80's hair bands earned their spot on this list.

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Britney Spears
I think the MTV Music Awards have proved to us all that if you shave your head in a fit of crazy, you shouldn't buy extensions for $9.99 from a place called 'Skeevy Weavey.'

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Billy Ray Cyrus
Although Billy Ray was certainly not the first to give us the mullet, (thank you Canadian hockey players), he inspired legions of followers to get a 'Business in Front, Party in Back,' style by portraying himself as a sex symbol. Firmly believing in their sex appeal, the two-haircuts-in-one are still being sported by Cyrus' biggest fanbase much to the chagrin of those of us with, you know, taste.

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A.J. McLean
"Look at me! Look at me! Even though I'm in a boy band, I'm still a man. I can grow super-cool facial hair, and can shave it into rebel patterns that really let my audience know I'm dangerous. Sure, I sing love ballads to 11 year old girls (ew!), but as you can see by my tattoos and goatee I'm really badass."

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The Emo Cut
Just so you know, if you and all your friends share the same haircut, you're no longer unique and trendsetting. Now, you're just kind of a loser with a haircut that makes mothers all over the country want to scream, "Get your hair out of your eyes!" P.S. You look stupid. P.P.S. Cut your bangs.

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Michael Jackson
I know, I know, stop picking on Mikey! Although it is kind of easy, Jackson's hair is included more as a cautionary tale than anything else. Not only was the Jheri Curl pretty nasty to look at, (and if you ever see someone still sporting this look, stay away, as it's greasier than a vat of oil), it was also highly flammable. When shooting a commercial for Pepsi (again Pepsi?) in 1983, sparks showered on his Jheri Curl lathered head, causing Second degree burns to the King of Pop. Also, Rick James sported the Jheri Curl as well. 'Nuff said.

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Bill and Tom Kaulitz
Amazingly enough, these two twin boys from Tokio Hotel have separate looks for their hair, but each style is equally questionable. Tom sports dreads worn underneath a toque AND a baseball hat in a ponytail fashion. But that's nothing compared to Bill's 'do, which looks like he just touched the elecrticity ball at the Science Centre. It's like 80s Metal Hair on drugs, with a new-school penchant for giant weaves thrown in for good measure. Listen, twins. Dressing alike is unnecessary, but your mane style may be even more unnecessary-er (yeah, we went there). We know you've got a kabillion fans and while we do enjoy your attempts at being avant-garde, please consider a good visit to the barber in your 5 Year Plan.

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Amy Winehouse
Bundling a nasty rat's nest on your head doesn't make you alternative. Although I appreciate people that buck the trends, there's something to be said about a hairbrush. And shampoo. And that something is a little thing I like to call hygiene. (Of course, if she took down the beehive, she'd have to look for a new place to put her crackpipe.)

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The Faux Hawk
While it started off as a semi-cool look, it's been brought down to all-time douchey levels in recent years. We get it, you're hardcore. (Not quite as hardcore if you'd gotten an actual Mohawk but whatever). Here's a helpful tip: When guys like Ryan Seacrest, Jack Osborne or Chester Bennington start sporting the same haircut that you have - it's time to get a new look.

Original here

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