There’s the assumption—which we can neither endorse nor reject—that extraordinarily good-looking women aren’t like the women you know. The theory is that women who inhabit the uppermost echelon of conventional beauty are so otherworldly, so demanding, so desired, that no ordinary semi-self-respecting man (i.e., you) could ever make them happy. Your best line? She’s heard it. Your lavish gifts? She’s got a drawerful, thank you. Your supersecret, private vacation island? She used to date the guy who owns it. These pampered, fawned-over creatures maintain expectations so outlandishly high that anyone who attempts to scale the heights required to meet them is destined for crushing failure and frustration.
Or that’s the theory, anyway. But is it true? Hell if we know. So we asked the extraordinarily good-looking Adriana Lima to set the record straight. Here’s her take.
Don’t let me scare you.
Usually, guys are nervous. I think they are afraid of me. I don’t think I look scary. Be however you are. Don’t try to be what you’re not. If you’re nervous, be nervous. If you’re shy, be shy. It’s cute.
Put the Treo down and pay attention to me.
If you’re having dinner with friends and they’re always on the phone or always texting, it’s just impolite. Unless it’s something important—like someone is in the hospital or something—don’t do it. It’s not attractive. It’s a girlie thing.* It makes you seem like a teenage girl. Especially if you’re talking about parties and which clubs you’re going to and who’s going to be there…it’s just silly.
I like jealous men. I love jealousy. I do. Everything has a limit, of course, but once in a while you have to stand up and say, “I love this person.”
...but not violent.
It’s never okay to defend my honor by beating someone up. You have to control yourself, even if the other person is drunk and crazy. Just say, “Let’s go home. Let’s leave.” You don’t have to say a thing to him. I never have to see that person for the rest of my life. I don’t like fights. I don’t like aggressive people.
Don’t hit on my girlfriends!*
(No matter how hot they are.)
Don’t treat them like a piece of meat. Don’t flirt with them! We’re not competitive. It has happened before, and it never works.
[*While we imagine a man with the courage/gall/nuts to hit on one ludicrously beautiful lingerie model while on a date with another ludicrously beautiful lingerie model may actually exist, we’ve never met him and wouldn’t know what to say to him if we did.]
A beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, not an accessory.
Don’t change your personality when you get around people at a party, or don’t walk in and think you’re the hottest person because you have the hottest girl.* If you start carrying me around like a trophy, it’s not good.
[*Your modesty, Adriana: It slays us.]
Just remember, you’re really dating the waiter.
A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver?* Don’t give orders to these people. You don’t own everything around you. Treat people with respect.
[*We have a driver? Awesome!]
Your first move should be no move at all.
Sometimes people are too aggressive. I need time to realize exactly who you are before I go out with you. Don’t be pushy. Don’t pressure me. “When can I see you? When can I meet you? When can we go out?” No. Take your time. When I’m ready, I’ll make the move.
Make friends with your inner viscount.
Show me you can take care of me. Say you’re taking me to dinner: I expect you to pick me up and open the car door for me. Hold the restaurant door while I enter and pull out the chair for me when I sit down. Stand up when I go to the restroom and again when I return. I love old-fashioned manners, as long as it’s not forced. I can tell when it’s natural or when someone is just trying to impress me.*
[*Wethinks it most unbecoming a man of good breeding to imperil a lady’s high virtue with beguilement and common trickery.]
Take me away.
(But not too far.)
When we’re traveling together for the first time, we sleep in different rooms. That’s the number one thing. And you should plan the whole trip. Buy the ticket, get the car to the airport, organize everything so I don’t have to think about it. And yes, carry my bags. I don’t travel light, either—at least two bags. Always. But if you say, “Oh, I’m going to fly you to Paris for the weekend,” or something like that, make sure we know each other well first. I’m not going to fly a million miles with somebody I don’t know.
A gift is only as good as the time, energy, and effort you put into it.
Sometimes people think they need to show you how successful they are and how much money they have, so they get you something too big. Don’t do this. The simple thing is always the best. Write me a letter, because it shows that you made an effort and that you gave of yourself. I love that. I also love flowers. It could be even one flower. You don’t have to buy something big to show that you love me.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t aim high.
You know how you can have a star named after a person, as a gift? A few years ago, a friend of mine received this present* from her husband, and I thought it was so romantic. I thought, Ohhhhhh. That’s really amazing. That’s unbelievable. This guy must really love her!
[*Given Adriana’s estimated 2007 income—roughly $6 million from modeling fees, endorsement deals, Super Bowl advertisements, etc.—and the rock stars and royals she tends to run with, we thought it would be helpful to find out how much it costs to have a star named for that someone special. Five grand? Ten? Fifty? Actually, on Starnamer.org, it’s more like $19.95. Or roughly the price of one mango martini at a hotel bar in Midtown Manhattan. No wonder kids stopped dreaming of becoming astronauts.]
There is no such thing as casual dating.
I don’t understand dating when you go with someone but you can see other people at the same time. Huh? I don’t do that. I’m always serious. I’ve only had four or five relationships, and I’ve never stayed with anyone for less than one year. I don’t date too much because I find it very difficult to find men who are willing to compromise, and when you’re in a relationship you have to compromise. You have to make sacrifices. You can’t just continue doing everything you did before.
Call your mom. For real.
It’s important that a man has a good relationship with his family. Your family is your base—they make you who you are—and if you don’t respect them, I don’t think you can respect anyone else. If you have problems with them, you need to resolve those problems. And while I’m at it, treat my mother like your mother: with respect, with care. I love it when you ask about my family. You should always ask about how my family is doing, because in the future they may be your family, too.*
[*Uh, we haven’t even slept over yet.]
Go home. Now.
You have to have limits—limits on everything: on drinking, on going out, on jealousy. Everything has to have a limit. Nothing too much is good.
When I’m sick, I want a lot of caresses.* Make sure I eat. If you don’t know how to cook, call and get food delivered. Go to the pharmacy and get the medication I need. Just take care of me until I get better. That’s it. Simple. If you don’t know what to do, ask me. Just say, “What do you need?” I will tell you. Whatever I tell you, do. That’s it.