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Saturday, June 7, 2008

Photoshop Gone Wrong Vol. 1: 'My Best Friend's Girl'

You don't need many more reasons to pass on the September romantic comedy My Best Friend's Girl than the stars featured on the poster. Kate Hudson, Dane Cook, and Jason Biggs have made a combined zero good movies since 2001. Seeing them in a lineup like this might be a deterrent, but take a closer look at the poster (you can get the whole thing over at Cinema Blend, but trust me, there's not much else to see). How much Photoshopping do you need?
Good Christ, look at Dane Cook! I don't know how to break this to you, Dane Cook fans, but he doesn't have a silky smooth complexion. In this poster, however, he appears to have been carved out of a very soft but sturdy grayish cheese. Amazing how his face stops expressing itself at the cheeks, with no lines or furrows north of the tip of his nose.
And because they've had to radically alter the human color palette for Dane, Kate Hudson looks...I dunno, is anti-radiant a word?
And poor Jason Biggs. Doesn't he have enough problems in his life - wouldn't anyone? - without some graphic artist putting David Ferrie's eyebrows on him? You remember, Joe Pesci from JFK? One thing's for sure, they're not Jason's real brows. I mean, you'd really have to piss somebody off to get those eyebrows pasted on your face.
We see it on every poster, though. Photoshopping is as much a part of the marketing these days as a catchy tagline. And I have no doubt someone was paid considerable thousands of dollars to give Kate, Dane, and Jason the Six Feet Under treatment. Forget for a moment that this poster is just lousy anyway - these people look like mannequins! There are no winners here, and the re-animators responsible have actually made it worse than it would look if they'd just left everyone alone. That goes double for Kate Hudson because...well, just compare the untouched red carpet photo with the creepy new Kate Hudson. How is the pallid one on the right more attractive? You could just put that event photo on the poster by itself and sell more tickets to My Best Friend's Girl. Not that I'm advocating in any way selling more tickets to this movie.

Original here

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